Today would supposedly mark our 4th wedding anniversary, but before our 3rd one, our marriage was already over. It ended when we were still in our 2nd year of marriage, when he chose to start an affair.
June 05, 2021, when I walked down the aisle and said "I do", but by November 2023, he had chosen to destroy the family he built by starting an affair with a girl who is a bar dancer.
By May of 2024, I discovered his infidelity thru their sex scandals with that girl on the deleted files of his phone—like mura ko og ga tan-aw og Pornhub ang bida akong bana og iyang kabit. However, since we're married and we have a child, I gave chances, I accepted his alibi that it was just a prostitute, a one-night stand. I tried to save our marriage and understand and reason out for his actions and behaviors—that he's just a man who was tempted, a man who's not perfect, a man who can commit mistakes—so I forgave him since I'm a wife and a mother.
2 months later, by July of 2024, I caught their exchange of I love yous, their deleted messages about me being a bad wife whom he doesn’t love anymore, and so on and so forth with the same girl in the sex scandal that I saw last May of 2024. They never stopped their relationship. They got the thrill in their relationship because it was all behind my back, and I was foolish enough to believe his lies. So, without regret, I let him go. I couldn't save the marriage alone kay it really takes two to tango. To cut the long story short, I let him be who he wants to be, kay you cannot control someone's choices. He wanted to walk away and be with that girl, so I let him. He chose someone else over me, then I let him—kay you cannot force someone to see your worth, but you can refuse to let their actions define your value. I believe that if someone is meant to be with you, they'll never need to be convinced to stay. So, I stopped fighting for a spot in his life as he already showed me where I stand—where I was just an option.
So, don't pity me for being a single mom.
This was my choice—to protect our peace, to choose love over chaos, to prioritize my child's well-being over the drama they bring to our life.
I don't need sympathy;
I need you to see the strength it takes to do it all alone and with my family, and still give my child the kind of love they'll never have to recover from.
It's not easy.
But it's ours, and I'd choose it again every time.
This is what I want Sam2x to see and learn from her mom: self-worth, respeto sa kaugalingon, og self-love. Kay og mopadayon ko og tolerate sa iyang Dad for the sake nga completo lang gyud ang pamilya ni Sam2x, as a grown woman, she will accept disrespect kay mao man iya nakita nga binuhatan nako—nga sugot lang ulion sa bana og kanus-a ganahan. She will accept bana nga naay uyab-uyab sab kay mao man iya nakita sa iya pagdako—nga “ako gani, Dad minyo ni Mommy pero naa sab siyay uyab.”
I don't want that for Sam2x. Mao nga dili nako tanuman og dumot or hatred ang bata towards sa iyang amahan nga utok sa ubos ra ang gamit. Ang nahibaw-an ni Sam2x—ga-work ra jud na iyang Dad. No more, no less.
If you see Sam2x, let's spare her the details. She knows her Dad works hard, and that's enough. Don’t ask anything more about her Dad kay usa ra jud matubag niya ninyo: “Ga-work iya Dad to buy toys.” I'm sharing this to show my daughter the importance of self-respect and not settling for anything less.
Those things happened a year ago and here I am, a living testament of God's mercy and love for me. In everything that I've been through, I know that He is with me all the time. That is why now, as you can see me, I'm radiating and glowing from the inside. I'm more at peace now—no more sleepless nights waiting and worrying sa bana nga ang pananghid mag-serve og warrant pero toa diay sa bar nag-bouncer sa uyab nga dancer kay mahadlok ma-table og lain.
In everything that happened, I'm forever grateful and blessed in every way.
#chooseyourbattles #pickyourfight
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