How to stop the blame game?

Why do people play the blaming game?

It has always been easier to point fingers and blame other people about what has happened than for an individual to admit the mistake they have done or how they have contributed to the current situation.



Most of the time people do this because it is easier than looking at themselves in the mirror. Pointing fingers towards other people means not taking responsibility for their own issues. It is “less painful” to see the”fault” in others.  There is always someone else to blame …parents, the boss, the world,  spouses or partners, the next door neighbor, the circumstances, the weather, the economy, the government, and yes even God.

I’m not saying that we have to like everything that is going on in the world, in the country, in our families and in our lives. We don’t have to agree with whatever others think, believe or do. The “issue’ becomes an “issue” when we blame “them” for what is going on in our lives.

Believe me, we all have a list of people who wronged, hurt, or caused us pain. It doesn’t mean we have to put up with that. It means that even if we were only 1% responsible for whatever happened to us, when we stand up in our own inner power, and we take responsibility for our actions, thoughts and, feelings, we empower ourselves. How we relate to whatever circumstance is going on in our lives is the “real” issue.

We don’t need to blame others; it is not going to solve our issues. Not blaming others does not mean that we don’t express our feelings, we don’t set boundaries, or we accept what we don’t want with resignation.

“Blame” The mere word suggests that something wrong is going on. A lot of people never learned how to actually be accountable or take responsibility for their own actions.

Sometimes people resist change and find it “easier” to continue living mediocre, miserable lives, than changing their own “inner self”; it is easier to blame the surroundings, circumstances, upbringing or lack , or even excess sometimes of  beauty, wealth, health, etc.  Human beings find themselves, time after time in the same “bad” situation and somehow never think that it might be “them”, who are repeating the same patterns. Different people,  different scenarios , different circumstances, same patterns.

When we blame we imply that we are right. Being right is the number one reason we fight, because ego keeps us alive. We also imply that we don’t need to adjust our own attitude as if we are completely faultless about what’s happening.

The whole thing changes, when we learn from our mistakes. Smart people learn from their mistakes but smarter people learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make all the mistakes yourself. When we use those mistakes to advance in life, to grow, and improve. We take responsibility, for our actions, thoughts, and emotions, and we take corrective action, without blaming ourselves or others.

Is it easy? Most of the time not!, is it simple? Most of the time yes! Is it worth it? Definitely! It will change your life experience.

So next time you feel the urge to blame someone or something, because of what you are experiencing, just follow these simple steps:

• Stop and become aware that you are about to start the blaming game.
• Breathe and release any anger or negativity you might be holding on to.
• Analyze the whole situation and try to find your part, in other words how did you contribute to the whole experience? Even if only 1%…
• Take responsibility, own it.
• Take corrective action (whatever that might be; for example: apologize, have a calm talk with your partner, boss, siblings, parent and etc.; make changes in your life, relationships and so on.)
• Acknowledge yourself for being courageous, and support yourself through the change.

This is about you… it is not about them… yes! Even when all the fingers are pointing at them…